he doesn't have the guts to say

last night i lost myself. i was carried away with my emotions. and i promise myself that hopefully my words would not get any more repulsive than that. jeez, the internet's so sluggish today. idk, it's supposed to be flying because i know most people are in recess, partying on beaches. (ok, that kinda rhyme) but seriously, my provider is going nuts.

i have a promise to you that i would share this convo i had with this guy. he replied and i retorted too but i think we're done, it just stopped there. here it is...

his username was naziZOMBI3. he's from wisconsin, us. and he has been falling for his best friend. he just cannot admit to his buddy about how's his feeling for him. that it's getting more profound than friends. however his buddy who we assume that is is a bisexual as well, tries to be manly (a bully in other terms) to him where in fact, he could not admit to himself that he's a fag too. very interesting. mind you guys, you're reading is going to be long.

naziZOMBI3: 

No, I'm not sure if he is gay or not. He knows that I am bi and that I like him and has continued to be my friend for years now. But recently there has been more tension between us and he started calling me a fag and a homo and does it nonstop. None of my other friends even bring it up but he always brings up my sexuality. He acts really girly and always makes gay jokes. I'm just sick of him calling me a faggot and telling me faggots should all be killed when I do everything for him. I'm ready to tell him I'm fuckin in love with him and he can go fuck off for crushing my hopes and dreams. He makes me feel like i'm worthless all because I don't act as much as a man as he thinks he does. I know he doesnt' mean the things he says to me because he always wants to be around me, I think hes gay and is hurting me because hes scared to fall in love with me. I love him but I can't do this much longer. Hes killing me when i'm just trying to make him happy. tomatosandwich:

Sorry for the late reply, I didn't notice you pm-ed me right away. Okay, I feel you mate. There are bunch of things people have to understand with us bisexuals and it's hard like hell to always hide our feelings. So do you have any proof that he's gay or not like have you ever regard any signs that he's bi before what he has been doing to you now? There must be anything. It could help you understand more of his sexuality. Worse comes to worst, you have to confront him. It's now or never mate. And it's nothing like you would lose something when you speak to him. Everyone knows you're bi. What are you cowed of? So be man enough and ask him what he's feeling towards you. Good luck mate. You could tell me more if you want.

naziZOMBI3:

Well for one thing, he acts like he hates gay ppl so much but he calls me everyday. He doesn't even talk to girls much anymore except maybe to get laid every now and then. But he has me over at his house everyday and we hang out all day long I even stay the night sometimes. Usually he doesn't even let me even pat him on the back or touch him at all but there are exceptions. Like one time he took something of mine in front of a girl and we were messin around I was trying to get it back. So I grabbed his hand and licked it to try to get him to drop it. He just giggled and kept tryin to get away from me. She was even like omg u guys are weird and laughed. And one time we were kinda fighting a lil and when we were out of breath I sat down on the couch and he sat down right next to me and was leaning against me and we looked at each other. Its like we are both scared. But I never make any moves really cause he calls me a faggot and tells me he isn't gay. Hes soo confusing I have no idea if he is or not. tomatosandwich:

I have a strong feeling that he's positive. Let's try to make sense of his actions here. A real straight guy would not let himself get close to a person he knows homo or in your case bisexual. Because they do know for sure we could get smitten by them any time or become sexually attracted to them. Given the fact he knows you well, he should have at least avoided getting very close to you. But in contrary, he even asks you EVERYDAY to come over at his place. Also, a guy leaning against another guy and making eye contact is a no! no! Straight guys would throw up by just imagining that. You know what, maybe he's still in a stage of denial. He can't think of ways how to deal with it so he's acting manly to you. That is how I see it. Take a little more time and see how things gonna be. He might not be ready to come out yet. But I'm telling you, there's no any harm in trying that you confront him earnestly. Just wait for the right moment. I wish you all the best. Update me if anything happens. I'll be willing to be of someone to give advice.

naziZOMBI3: 

Thanks for the advice. Thats exactly what I was thinking. He knows I care about him more than anything. He likes having me around because he knows I love him and that I take care of him. Thats how it is too, I spend money on him and shit and he cooks food for me. Hes just like a girl. He'd rather spend time with me than any other friend too. He barely talks to girls anymore, but he calls me everyday even tho theres a few girls that like him. We even talk about how we want to get an apartment and a car so we could drive around and also so we'd have a place to hang out besides our parents houses. Friends slept over at his house on friday night and the other 2 stayed in a different room but he told me i could sleep in his room with him, even tho it was on the floor I didn't mind, I was happy he let me stay with him in his room. I really do think he is gay but I will respect him until he wants to come out.

tomatosandwich: (okay i was lying about my experience.)

I think he has his way of coming out to you and I commend you for giving him time with that. My experience was a bit complicated than yours but my relationship with him went easy since we both understand each other. It was complicated in a way because I had to break up with my girlfriend (we've been for 2 years). It wasn't easy to me same with her because we definitely still had feelings for each other when we broke up. She put me in a situation where I had to choose between the guy or her. But he weighed more than her. I was so in love with him and I know he wasn't just a passing fancy. So we're happy now and I never regretted choosing him over her. You know what, he's so lucky to have you and I hope he's really aware of that. I don't wanna think any negative right now on how he has been acting to you recently. But you should not fully get your hopes up mate. Our assumption of him being bi/gay COULD be wrong. Just so you won't get hurt real bad if ever something turns out opposite of what you expected. Because there might be other reasons why he wants to hang out with you. Well, just stick around. Try showing him more motives (could be a hug) that you like him, something that would make him think or convince him.

naziZOMBI3:

I just get sick of how he acts. Like yesterday, he invited me over and our other 2 friends were there too. He kept calling me his bitch and telling everyone he wishes I would kill myself. But at the same time he was kinda ignoring everyone else and me and him were playing cards with each other. They ended up leaving because they were bored because me and him were just talking to each other and not them. Like I know he doesn't mean it because when it came time to go he was like, "Dude you should give me a call tomorrow and we can hang out okay." But if I tell him I don't like how he talks to me he gets mad and says we always talk shit to each other and if I was his friend I wouldn't always think hes being serious. Idk if hes manipulating me anymore or what but when he tells me he wishes I woudl kill myself it makes me not wanna talk to him. I'm just sick of his shit already, I'm tired of him thinking he can treat me like this and i'm just gonna forgive him because I like him. tomatosandwich:

Okay, never mind for a while what I told you about sticking around with him. You see, he gets mad when you try to decline his invitation to his place and he's being a bully to you. Why don't you try let's say a week or so you become cold to him. like don't show up when he invites you over, don't answer his calls or texts, try to be a little elusive to him. In that way if he gets serious about you not talking to him (because probably he realized how important you are), you can bring up what you wanted to say. For sure it's going to be a one heart felt dialogue. But for instance he acts the same way, he's not in any chance wants to get into you because he let you slip like that. I swear to you mate, try this or else think of anything that would make a change.

damn, i'm starting to get dull with our conversation. good thing he didn't reply anymore. but of course, i wanna say it again, i am remarkably jealous of him.