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I'm confused. My physiological and mental status cripple when my thoughts cross of him. I would die a wishful thinker if I continue on this delusion. Awhile ago right after our duty, he accompanied me to our publication office even he has nothing to do there. I know it wasn't anything meaningful to him but I was so happy he did. He even asked that we should buy food after my work in office then I asked him if we could just eat outside. Of course, I was only pretending a friendly invite.

Inside the fast food, while ordering I asked him to order a bucket of fries so I could spend more time with him. He's a type of guy who wouldn't talk as much. But he's as good-humored as I am. So, I tried to share as much things I know, tell things which I shouldn't be speaking of anymore. Just for the sake of a conversation. He just wouldn't talk if I won't.

With simple things like this at least, it makes me happy. I hate the feeling of continuously suppressing my emotions. I wish one day he's feeling the same way, the way I'm feeling for him. I have only felt this twice now. The first one is with a girl. However, I think my feelings and attraction for him has grown so much that it makes me more anxious of what would it be if he gets a girlfriend. He's been busted for three consecutive times now. Selfish I am, I don't want him to be with anyone other than me. Tinamaan yata talaga ako. He's not that good-looking and I'm not kind of sexually attracted although a part of it yes (I won't lie about that), but yung personality niya talaga is right where I fell through. He enshrouds me.

If only...